Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Its got wings


Here it is, the last piece of major bodywork to be fitted, a lovely RH rear wing with beading.


The photo shows the rear side window and chrome trims fitted temporarily to give me an ego boost that a major phase is over.

The inner wheelarch was a real swine to fit. Well fitting was easy, the welding was not.


Inside the arch there aint enough room for my head(with welding helmet) torch, gloved hand and clamps. Also i must admit i skimped on the grinding a bit and this made the welding , well tough. So my wise advice to anyone attempting this.........Weld prep is most important !!!!

As a break from this I also made a nice flush fit with the bottom valance. This was done by welding in a strip behind where wing and valance meet, then applying some filler and smoothing to a good finish.

Whilst at it I also had a fit of efficiency and welded in some ( two ) pieces in the boot floor near the spare wheel clamp.
This caused a slight diversion as I had to empty the MG of all my tools stored there. Of course, like a goldfish or small child I'm easily distracted so I had a rehash and tidy up all of my tools and stuff in the MG. Well was there some crap. This leads me to another diversion. One of tools.
When restoring the MG a few months ( nay years) ago and starting this blog I listed my top ten favourite and must have/most useful so far, pieces of equipment. See earlier on posts.
I've now revised this in light of more recent experiences.
So here it is
  1. Money
  2. Money
  3. Money
  4. Money
  5. Workmate ( B&D type) not a real one, although one with spare cash and a garage is OK
  6. Patience
  7. Angle grinder
  8. jigsaw
  9. Mig welder
  10. trimmingtool/screwdriver/scraper/chisel.....Yet it really is one tool, and I have one.

As we speak ( you know what I mean) I only have item 10. but thats jumping ahead again.

From the photo above you see I left the door in place as an aid to alignment. Good move now the wing is in place.

Next on the agenda is the engine bay ( remember the blog is about now 2 months behind "real time")

I may post that tonight, I might not. Depends how I feel and how hot the sunshine gets late on. See how light and fluffy my mood is. Restoring MG's gets you that way. That and having bugger all money, tough job and a penchant for red wine. +++++ for some reason I can't place another photo near the bottom of the blog, only at the top, which would ruin the continuity of the story so far. So thats it for now.



































Thursday, July 24, 2008

When tools have "Off Days"







Some time after welding on the rear wing, or was it just before, I had a real bad tool day.



Same as the wife's bad hair days, only worse.






I had to cut out several small rectangular pieces using the trusty jigsaw. The jigsaw has served me well over the years and has cut lots of things. I had "modified" it to get at awkward parts on the MG, by removing the base, and somehow never got it to go back together exactly right.



On the day in question I did manage to get it back as it should be and proceeded to make an extra long cut in a removed doorskin. See.......I'm even managing to make it a green car by recycling as much good steel as possible. But I'm afraid it just died. Even after suspecting all that was wrong was the brushes, no, it had run its joyful and varied life. The rotor/commutator windings had just disintegrated, poor old B&D jigsaw.



Still all was not lost, I just did it the old fashioned way with hacksaw and effort. God I missed the jigsaw. So then to welding, after 1 minute of expert welds, spit, spatter, silence.



The welding wire had all been used up !. God when I bought the welder it had about 37 miles of wire on the spool. So 4 CO2 bottles later it had eventually gone. What to do on a sunday afternoon with intermittent fine drizzle and sunny spells ? More grinding, thats what I'll do.



The grinder had allready had new carbon brushes fitted a few months ago, Ten Bloody pound 99p, when the whole grinder cost only £ 14.99..........Scre**ix are not my favourite people.



But no, it coughed and spluttered,I shook it, I banged the brush mounts with relied upon persuading tool ( Hammer) but nuffin. Inspecting the brushes showed thet were not quite worn down but the copper wire connecting them had parted company with the carbon, Both sides !!!


Then, whilst cleaning up and "reshaping" the battery box cover the workmate jaws just gave up and turned from two just functioning ( they have been out in the rain for the last two years)

parts into four non functioning parts !!!!!!!!!



So there I was, well and truly Scr#*(ed/f!xed). Thats when I hatched a plan to start on the engine.



Well after all it was all cluttering up the shed methinks.



So the bodywork and tools could wait till the cash was plentiful, all I need do is find the engine parts,clean& inspect and re-fitt............................hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oh, and try to make new workmate jaws.........this is an easy job,....... innit ?????



Next Instalment................................................... How to hide a cylinder head and many auxillary engine parts in an average 3 bed semi ( with shed at bottom of garden)






Back to reality

















Again for Matt.........the real thing.

As you all can see some great progress has been made, particularly on the engine and bay.

Later today I will post carrying on in sequence as this shots has fast forwarded a few months, even though it is current.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Monday, July 21, 2008

Its been so long



















Well folks, apologies for not posting sooner. I've been busy !!

The MG progresses slowly but steadily, life continues and work, work busy busy.
Yipee.......College has finished. Yayyyyy.......ended up with 75 credits at level 3 and 15 at level two. Truth be told I should have got 90 at L3 but eased off when I was offered a place at University, already having the required amount. However,I did eventually manage a level 3 in Psychology at last.
Sadly the Sociology lecturer thinks I'm the student from hell, so no L3 in this subject.
All after me...........Do I care, ........do I $^?**!

Work has been very busy since March, with two trips to France and many more visits to the carbuncles of this sceptred isle.
Anyways back to the blog in hand. I last left you having prepared the rear wing for replacement. Well its on and looks great.


I also had to repair the inside of the "C" post in the corner. It took a lot of fiddling, grinding and even more welding of small patches but here it is. The bottom photo shows the tricky piece welded in, which as usual was ten times easier to do than I thought and pondered months over.
The inside was also very rusty and needed lots chopping out and rewelding in.
The finished results don't look pretty but hey, the're strong, rust free and covered up by all the trim.
I've decided on a new stratagey....................lets get the thing finished !!!

So, a two pronged attack, bodywork and engine. I have done lots and made some good progress on both. The only snag was the door, or more accurately the door hinge. Whilst repairing the front wing lower section i decided to remove the door. Bad move. Had to drill out the six screws holding it on. The the captive plate retainer gave up the ghost. i.e it was just not there only a faint brown apparition of where it used to be before the rust.


More in depth photos and discussions tomorrow ( hopefully ) now time and tide is with me.

Monday, March 24, 2008

More on than off







Above shows the new sill welded in position and a good door gap. Its better than the LH side as then I removed the door ( bad move) However this time i left the door in situ and look, it fits great. I only made one error. A small one at that. I forgot to buy a jacking point when I purchased the sill from MGOC. Not so bad though as I can always weld it on later.



Next job is to repair the Inner wheel arch, replace whole of LH wing, but first make new repair section to rear window base. Its rusted completely through and no new panels are available.

I'm going to bend one at College on their ace bending machine. It comprises of a short vertical piece of say 8mm then the horizontal base with another bend tapering along its length down 90 degrees at say 8mm ( this is where the new wing will attach)

The job thats got to be done that looks a little fiddly is the hole in said window corner. Its a large radius in a 45 degree apex with little or no chance of getting in the scary grinder to dress the welds so I'm thinking I may braze a section in, if only I knew how to braze or had the kit !

I wisely did all this a few weeks before the easter hols, and guess what , ever since its been either snowing, raining, gale force winds or all three so I,m not so frustrated.

The earthquake also put a stop to things for a while.

After hearing what sounded like a dumper truck depositing 3 tons of bricks on the roof and a quick check that we were all ok, a rece showed the chimney stack had reduced in size and came to rest in the conservatory via the tri-ply roof. So my office has been out of bounds for some time till its replaced, the chimney stack has been repaired so we are not living in fear of errant bricks or slates anymore. When the weather is better and money abundant the car bodywork will be virtually done bar a few minor touch ups and cosmetics, then on to the suspension, or engine, or chrome, or carbs.............and on and on.



More soon folks !!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

More off than on !

That is bodywork wise anyway. Another glorious weekend and I set too removing the rear wing. I debated long and hard about removing it. I have the cash to buy a new outer sill and new wing ( left over from x-max prezzies) and i have in the shed (for shed read vehicular temporary storage area- non garden bottom orientated-ie i save it in the MG) a partial outer inner wing, brand new. So, i thought i would need all these parts before removing the wing.

The great god Mr Mark Evans says its important to repair the inner wing BEFORE removing the outer................................please forgive the petulance and disobediance Mr Mark ,but you're wrong ! Especially since you don't know MY CAR, previously bodged..big time.
Below is a prime example. Look at said wing removed.

This is the removed wing. Its had a repair panel "sort of " welded aroung the wheel arch. I say sort of since the norm is to replace all of the lower half at the seam/swage line, or joddle a new section/s under the damaged/cleaned up wheel arch. This was neither, just lots of filler over the whole area right down to the rear valance and rear light cluster ( including much gauze below the light cluster) The panel was a doddle to remove for 2/3rds of its connection . The final 1/3rd was a right swine, its the part thats nearest the rear door gap. The actual wing fits over some areas of gently bent ( 90 degree bend with lovely radius) and fits under other areas, all making a nice join at the point you notice most when opening the door. I took me ages to discover the tiny spotwelds, some inaccessible, some invisible most impossible. Surely it did not take this long to remove the other side.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,!!!!!!No yer great clot!!!!

You bought the car with no rear left wing, remember, all that time long ago, when you were blissfully ignorant of bleeding knuckles, eyes full of grit, pores full of Duckhams and a shed you could actually walk into. So a few gentle taps with the omni tool ( part chisel/part screwdriver/part upholsery prise bar/part rust basher/scraper) some sardine can like peeling with the water pump pliers after a slicing sesion with trusty grinder ( + slicing disc) and yipee.

Tried to work today ( Saturday 2 pm) but despite the sun shining its bloody cold. Only managed to dress up some rusty edges on wing before my toes and nose said no more please. Spent most of following Sunday catching up with college, its still freezing cold out though.




Next job on the list is to Purchase and fit outer sill. Make and weld small tabs to secure A post to sill.
Then remove rust from wheel arch HERE <
Fit new wheelarch repair panel. Weld to rear of new sill.
Fit new wing and weld then repair base of rear light/pointy thing and join with rear valance.

Should keep me happy for a bit, if it don't rain !

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Its over.............here comes summer !


Hello peeps




Many apologies for not posting for so long but its taken a good few weeks to overcome the lethargy, depression and general goings on. Still thats what holidays are for, and guess what. Its done the trick. So to prove it here I am smiling the Sunday before new years eve ( the day after the wedding anniversary also)





Yes I know its all Bluey tinted, but daughter number one took it, and was cold standing in bare feet, so rushed it meI thinks. Still it was very cold and getting rather dark though.


Had a very good Holiday so far, with no family Illnesses or other disasters. Had lots of prezzies and booze and snoozes by the fireside. The new additions to the fold Ralph and Ruby ( 5 month old stripey Tiger type cats) are sending us nuts with their antics and ruining the house. In fact we've given up replacing the baubles on the tree after Ralph decided to launch himself from the sofa to the tree innards. Well, actually as punishment to the kids ( They always deserve SOME punishment - almost 14 year old twins, boy- girl, lots of time in the house/bed/bedroom/internet/i-pod/x-box) we decided it was their chore, or no free time.


Clever little dicks, they just banned Ralph & Ruby from the room.


Back to the resto. Finally motivated myself to get stuck in and welded the floorpan strip in.


I did think I would have to spend hours making the strip a perfect fit, but, as in new year resolution, JUST GET ON WITH IT. So I did. No fussing and worrying. No over thinking the Issue.


Here it it tack welded in position...........Note the Hi-Tech clamp of hammer and wood offcut.





























And finally welded. Can you see the join yet ?


Its the longest weld I've done so far. Only tricky for half its length because my head, the welding helmet, right or left arm and Steering wheel all wanted to be in the same place.Its dark in there too. And smelly with thick black smoke from the underseal underneath. Counted seven little welding fires which all needed me to extract myself from my semi prone hernia inducing welding position and flap wildly with gloved hand to extinguish them. The photos look nice and clear because of the flash, but in reality it was difficult to see, hard to reach , cold, damp and uncomfortable. But i did it. And without complaining.


Next on the list is this little hole near left foot position and small hole near rear spring hanger. Soon though. Fufferfour's back on a roll and he's got money for new panels !!!!!!!!!!!
















See you all soon folks..............................+++++.Rick thanks for the e-mail re moments ect++++

Saturday, November 10, 2007

An indifference to life in general

Well readers, as you may guess by the title I've been a little preoccupied of late with life in general.
Work is as tough as ever, my health has been suffering a bit of late and family issues seen to be getting more complex and frustrating. Not to mention college which has moved up a gear and left me feeling vulnerable and a little stupid.
The MG has been left well and truly bottom of my priorities, occasionally flapping and waving its errant blue poly cover whenever rain and wind appears.
The weather since my last post has been very good, however my drive and enthusiasm has not, so several weeks have been wasted. I feel I'm going to regret this when winter finally arrives together with enthusiasm, cash and happiness.
However I'm determined not to let the car be one of the many abandoned projects for sale on E-bay. I must say my doppelganger Rick has given me the impetus not to fail as he is restoring a real basket case and is making a good job of it in similar circumstances, if not with a little more cash and garage.
So why the depression Fufferfour ? you ask.
Well I don't know really.
A level physics at college did not help. Full of young kids all able to grasp thirty five ways of transposing formulae, knowing the answer is in Nm, m/s ( -2) Kj or wotsits.
The other evenings are not the same as I feel its a waste of time as they are catering for the newbies ( combined class from the two last year) who are a year behind a small minority in class.
Still Biology continues to be good and I'm beginning to understand how all the body parts work together.
Work wise has not see an influx of machine orders, the ones won have took ages to build and the other side of the biz has seen a few small victories over the competition. Still its a hard and lonely life on the road with such a large area to cover.
Seven days in Dusseldorf working the "k" show proved to be very tiring and not as exciting as previous. Staying with an old couple in the suburbs was really nice but our new French owner had decided to gatecrash over the weekend so all my French colleagues were very tense and very well behaved, almost boring, for my liking. It still took me at least five days to physically and mentally recover. I think this was the start of the great depression.
That and the lack of activity from British industry on the stand.
The wife and kids continue to argue, bicker, winge, demand and generally frustrate any attempts I have of a happy life.
One event of note in our household is the arrival of Ralph and Ruby. Two tiny kittens that look like darkly striped Tigers. How we love the way they frolic with their tiny skinny legs and button noses.
How I hate the smell emanating from the Poo tray in the dining room.
Still, that was a few months ago and now they are turning into whirling dervishes of mass destruction. It's still funny to see their antics though. Unfortunately their poo still stinks the house out. Roll on Feb when they can leave the house for the big bad world outside.
The MG was left with a long strip of about 1" wide cut from the floorpan where it meets the outer sill, and the last 3" of the outrigger cut away. I've since bought a new outrigger and jacking point during a brief diversion to the MGOC last month. Whats difficult is welding the repair panel ( Cut from the opposite sides unused repair panel) in. The steering wheel is in the way. I tried for about 2 hours to bash it upwards from its splines without damaging the soft plastic base. It transpires one of the famous BL service tools ref BL-vb10073 part 6a is required. I say famous because no one has ever seen any of the recommended service tools. There is also two further small holes in the drivers side floor. One near the rear spring hanger, which has for some reason been repaired previously without trimming the excess steel away, and another at the base of the transmission tunnel/floorpan, near where your left foot would rest. I don't think these will present too much difficulty though. ...........................famous last words !
I have a inner rear arch panel to fit ( Birthday present in May) together with a new rear wing and maybe rear sill repair section and complete outer sill ( yet to be purchased). I also need to fabricate a section of about 10" long with two 90 degree bends to repair the window frame base where the wing is welded to.
Then the major bodywork is almost complete....................hehe.....easy word almost !

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Getting there

The last few weeks ain't seen much activity.

However, the A post nightmare has ended. Yes I bit the bullet and welded, cut, ground, templated, cut, ground & welded ad infinitum. + not a lot of body filler.

I must say sanding filler is not my favourite pastime. God is it boring. Unfortunately its necessary and vital to get a good look to the finished car.




So, the A post then......................see the finished result below !













This is the finished result after lots and lots of very fiddly welding in of small curved pieces of steel. Its integrity is good and the filler only hides the welds too inaccessible for the grinder.

However, its the wing join that I'm most proud of. This took some welding in of curved steel and was much easier than I first thought. In fact I pondered hours and hours on how to repair it and kept putting it off till the last moment. The filler sanded a treat and lots of offering up the wing made the join perfect.


What was a constant source of frustration is the front RH wing. The LH wing had lots of welding done on the captive nuts and a new bottom rear edge.

So I was prepared for the worse.


After venturing to the bottom of the garden and behind the shed to unearth the wing I had a pleasant surprise. The captive nuts were fine...............yipeee.....some luck at last.


Booo.................................................................. remembered the wing also had some accident damage to the front around the grill aperture.

But, thought this would be easey peasey to repair, a few whacks and job done.


Wrong, wrong and wrong again.


The area affected is in a sort of zig-zag shape, so I thought a few whacks would sent it nicely back from where it came.

Well about 2 weeks later, several bleeding knuckles, C1 compressions of the spine and picking up a fallen wing from the trusty workmate I'm somewhere near.

Panel beating complex shapes is definitely NOT easy. This was made worse by the fact that whichever way I positioned the wing it needed to be nose down ( on the floor) and tilted up about 70 degrees whilst simultaneously beating it with the precision hammer, which in turn caused the wing to fall over and/or slip sideways. I think I moved 15 yards down the drive whilst beating, and suffered at least four good bongs on the head from the wing falling.

Its back to almost as new now.

The Ironic thing is that since I'm converting to chrome bumper, this area has to be cut away and smooth pieces welded in.

The wing then has been rubbed all over, inside and out, sprayed in grey primer several times between applications of small amounts of filler.

Still, at least all the captive nuts are all ok.


Next job on the list is fitting a repair panel to the RH footwell where it joins the inner sill.

Andy from Doncaster donated this part when I bought the LH sills from him on good ol E-bay.

Even though the panel is for the wrong side I'm only using the inner 1" so it will match perfectly.

See the devil wing below, and I promise to post more often.


More soon avid readers

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Rust........in all the wrong places !





Well..........removed the RH outer sill rather easily. Six spot welds and a few easy whacks with the multi-tool ( scraper/chisel/upholstery/screwdriver thingy) and off it came.


The good news is the inner membrane is in near perfect condition, as is the castle rail.


So I've decided not to replace these. The inner sill is also good too !!!


Its not all good news though.


The front bulkhead, where the sill front meets is well.....as mess !


Its really weird that the car has rusted in all unexpected places, as well as expected places on different sides.


I decided to chop off all the rust with the newly refurbished grinder ( having replaced the carbon brushes with the proper items)


So look see.............




The upturned flap on the castle rail is going to be tricky to repair. Its in good condition.


However, its the top most part of three layers of steel. The next layer is the front bulkhead ( rusty where cut away) and behind that is the upturned flap on the end of the inner sill.


Also another tricky part is the end of the membrane. I cut it away a bit and bent it out to investigate the inside.


I think I may replace the first two or three inches of this and it will allow prior access to the end flappy area.


In a fit and flurry of DIY we have re-painted the whole of the dining room.


Well, wifey started it.......all ar*e about face and in a terrible mess. Still credit to her she stuck in there and cried HELP when it got tough.


So, early last Saturday I got stuck in, moved shelves and heavy objects etc, and completed it by Sunday late lunchtime


Trouble is now though she's already planned another two rooms for the next few days, for the same treatment. Cunning devil has been saving it for my Hols without letting on. I'm sure it was all a scheme to keep me away from the MG. I think she knows how to make motor brushes wear and welding gas to evaporate ( witchcraft ?..... feminine intuition or just plain bad luck ?)


Considering I'm on holiday now for two weeks and spending them at home I can't see where the rest/relaxation is going to come................................Ha!! Wifey says...........spend a day in my shoes anyday you like Mr " I've had a long busy day at work, too tired to do DIY but enough energy to fiddle with your hobby" ( No....."hobby" is not a euphemism for that precious and rewarding universal boys toy we discovered in early teens)


Once that round of DIY is now complete I removed some more engine ancillaries and even had the foresight to "borrow" a large plastic storage box from work ( we specialise in machinery to print them so we have lots skulking around the factory)


It looks rather empty in there.


Whilst Wifey is still to the forefront this holiday I used some female logic on her !!

And guess what................................................................It worked.

As I explained how much the three part LH sills cost and my joy at not having to buy all three , hence SAVING on this part of the project, I can now go and buy another RH rear wing complete like last time, you remember dear, back in May, my birthday, when we had a fun day out together and visited the MG hive............

Yes dear, what fun that was............we'll go again soon. But not until you've finished all the decorating, spent time away in Chester next week on a shortened holiday, been to see your beloved team play with No 1 son, and with whats left you can buy all the panels you want.

Well it sort of worked. Lets get in the good books first then apply more tactics.

More soon.........Thanks for the link Rick

Friday, August 03, 2007

If only I'd waited........or been a little less impatient

I've done a stupid and silly thing.
Annoyed at the the yet again death( well soldiering on bravely but intermittently) of my trusty angle grinder I decided to remove the exhaust.
Rear end not too bad.
Middle section easy.
Front end.......so far so good, five of the six nuts undone.
The last one..............Impossible.
I'm under the car looking up at the manifold join. Yes the first five were a little tricky and awkward. I can only just see the sixth, let alone get the socket and extension onto it.
The trouble is the sump edge is in the way. It won't allow the socket to sit square on.
After several attempts, bruised knuckles, rust flakes in both eyes and oil/grunge in back of head I called it a day.
Well almost.
In a fit of pique I whacked the grinder one more time and it sprang into life.
So under the car I crawled and cut the exhaust in two just after where two pipes become one at a thick flange.
I thought it the only way to remove the damn thing. The last bolt was rounded off, and too inaccessible to get so much as a finger there, let alone a grinder or wrench.
So in I went with the grinder. Grinder protested loudly but after 5 mins there it was.
In two more manageable halves........................but see later.......................

Oh I forgot, to celebrate finishing one side the whole clan helped me move the car the other way round in the drive.
This involved moving both normal cars to way up the other end of the Cul-de-sac.
Pushing a very heavy car (including tool contents inside) onto the road at 45 degrees.
Pushing a little further down road. Son armed with patented vehicle halting device ( half housebrick) There's no brakes on the car cause I've removed them and the steering is very very heavy.
Then push back into drive.
At this point I'd like to thank the newish and so far never speaking, neighbour opposite and Dutch relative/friend.
..............................................................................................For watching............................................... while this old fart, his unfit wife with a bad back and two skinny thirteen year old twins ( one of each) struggle somewhat.
They ( two males 35-45 years of age) spent the whole afternoon looking at the engine of their car and then looking at the toolbox.
I hope they enjoyed watching us from 15 feet away across the road.
Its the other way round !!

The following day I decided to remove some engine ancillaries.
Carbs came away nicely after locating the bolts.

Since the under bonnet was covered in a poor excuse for sound proofing that hanging off in most places the whole engine bay is covered in "FLUFF".
"Yes, fluff"
Well more like horeshair, but its everywhere. And mixed up with loads of rust and lots of oil.

So cleaning the carbs will be interesting. So will the whole engine bay actually.
Removed centre inlet manifold, easy.
Even the dead rusty and often snapping exhaust studs came undone.

Its then that the manifold fell down and to one side.
Yes the difficult to get at nut was now easily accessible from underneath.

WHAT A PRATT.............I cut the exhaust in two for nothing !!!
If I'd removed said items before attempting the manifold studs underneath i would never have rounded off the last nut...........doh !!!.

So, lifted it clear and deposited both halves at back of shed out of sight.

Following day removed alternator, coil and dizzy lid + oil filter. Yes. I did remember to label all the wires up................sometimes I function almost normally.
Here's a few shots of my rust investigations of the the as yet untouched RH side.










This is a view looking forward at the A Post top. Worrying and scary.
This is after my head exploded after finding more rust.
Have no clue how I'm gonna repair these little beauties.( books and toilet springs to mind)
Suppose it explains me turning my attention to the engine.
Footnote.
The grinders died well and truly. No amount of whacking makes it start. Ordered new bushes from Screwfix ( £ 6.50, robbing dogs...........the whole grinder was only £17.00)
CO/Argon bottle on MIG welder also empty.
Spotweld drill bit blunt as hell.
Time for some time off or DIY......................yipee says Wifey. Personally I want a holiday.
More soon hopefully.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Go here, It's the funniest thing I've read in a long time

Just a quickie post to share with you all, but very very funny.

Its right up my street as its toilet humour( Laxatives actually) at its best.

Stick with it and read all the posts by Blu-Tone.

Its actually from a Mountain Bike message board.

One day 'Ill tell my funny story of a hospital visit. I'd have to embellish it somewhat but it would not be a patch on how Blu-Tone tells his !!!!

Link = http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/read.php?f=2&i=3145351&t=3141618#reply_3145351